10/11 NHL All-Star Game: Marvel vs. DC
It seems the NHL has put a bit of a twist on this year’s All-Star Game, as they have called upon the superheroes of DC and Marvel comics to participate rather than the regular superstars of the NHL’s 30 teams. Commissioner Gary Bettman announced the decision yesterday at a press conference in a move that “will change the scene of the All-Star weekend and provide fans with some much needed refreshment.” Fans will be treated to a 60 minute contest pitting the best against the best, a game so colossal it will surely reach otherwise unobtainable proportions.
Bettman later went on to state that the contest will require some new rules in order to ‘ground’ the super human athletes.
“With the upcoming game featuring the world’s strongest, most dynamic heroes, we had to devise several new regulations,” Bettman said.
The following is a list of these new regulations:
- Flying is prohibited. (2 minute penalty)
- Pulvarising your opponent into oblivion is inadmissible.
- 250 km/h maximum speed. (2 minute penalty)
- Keep destruction to a minimum (That will be fun).
- Must score using a hockey stick.
- All necessary roughing regulations apply!
After a month of online voting from fans, the following lineups have been determined:
Goalie – Spiderman.
From the get-go, Peter Parker was a shoe in for goaltender. Combining his pre-cognitive spider sense with his unbelievable reflexes and agility, Spiderman will represent tough competition in net. Not to be forgotten is his ability to produce sticky webbing at high speeds.
Defence – The Thing.
Defence – The Incredible Hulk.
The other half of Marvel’s stocky defence brings the speed factor along with his super-human strength. Dr. Bruce Banner will have to contain his anger, though, in order to stay out of the penalty box for much of the game.
Left Wing – Jean Grey (Phoenix)
Jean Grey is Marvel’s only female superhero, but represents a secret weapon of sorts. Grey’s telekinetic and less-used telepathic powers will no doubt be one of Marvel’s strongest assets, but her ability to manifest into her alias Phoenix, and use the Phoenix Force could be the tipping point in the match if need be.
Center – Iron Man
Marvel’s center is their most dynamic super hero by far. Tony Stark brings a level of intellect that no other can contest, and uses his multipurpose suit to its full advantage. Look for a lot of assists from the Iron Man
Right Wing – Iceman
Fans made the right choice when they voted in X-Men’s Bobby Drake, a man with the ability to manipulate ice. Iceman will be relied on for much of Marvel’s goal scoring due to his ice manoeuvering capabilities, and stamina.
Goalie – Green Lantern
If at first it is not obvious why fans chose the Green Lantern to stand between the pipes, one must only remember that the power ring worn by Hal Jordan can manifest anything that he focuses his will power on. Note: league officials insisted that at no point can any object manifested by the power ring exceed more than 75% of the net.
Defence – Martian Manhunter
J’onn J’onzz’s telepathy will allow the green alien to read the minds of the Marvel forwards and add to his many basic superhero powers such as superhuman strength and speed. However the Manhunter won’t just be hunting ordinary men.
Defence – Superman
By having arguably the most complete package of all the superhero athletes at the All-Star game, DC has managed to solidify their back end. While Superman isn’t the biggest hero, he certainly is the strongest. Clark Kent’s insane speed combined with his extremely keen senses will be the toughest test for Marvel forwards.
Left Wing – Flash
Having the distinction of owning the least amount of powers, Barry Allen may run into troubles. Conversely, the Scarlett Speedster may be able to escape these problems with his godly speed and matching reflexes. Look for the Flash to top the goal department.
Center – Batman
DC has matched Marvel’s gadget machine at Center with one of their own. Bruce Wayne may not have any intrinsic superhero powers by definition, but he makes up for it by being the best strategist in the world, which he complements with a plethora of tools and technology expertise.
Right Wing – Wonder Woman
DC’s only female brings to the table superhuman strength, stamina, speed, and durability. Diana Prince adds to her versatile pallet a Lasso of Truth that, when wrapped around an opponent, forces them to tell the truth. In this case, Prince can use this to her advantage to gain knowledge on Marvel’s strategies.
There you have it, 6 vs. 6 for 60 minutes. Which team of super heroes will trump the other and what will the final score be?
As an added bonus, predict the winner of the following All-Star events:
- Elimination Shoot-out
- Speed Competition
- Hardest Shot
Hope you enjoyed! P.s. instead of viewing this as nerdy, view it more as a diehard hockey fan being awesome.